Basketball “Wives” 2/2-The Farce

 

A farce is basically what the whole episode was. Everybody was being fake. Everyone was putting on a show pretending to be happy. It was too much.

So you have Suzie who keeps saying she wants to do Broadcast Journalism because that’s what she “majored” in in college. My question the whole episode was, “But did you graduate?” It doesn’t matter what your major was if you didn’t follow through. Additionally, you have no experience, your dedication is at like 5%. It just doesn’t look promising. Then for Suzie and Gloria to hook up and pretend to be friends, but their entire relationship consists of talking bad about the other girls, is a FARCE.

Then you have Jennifer and her continued relationship with Eric. He’s still being an asshole, she’s still being indecisive, all for the sake of not getting divorced? Get cha issue.

Shaunie and her “relationship.” Her and dude weren’t even in a 5-foot proximity to one another. That’s a farce.

Tami was just doing way too much. The lesson to be learned from her and Evelyn (smh) is the power of forgiveness. Now, I’m not one to call a woman bitter just because a relationship ended—or because she’s Black—but Tami is definitely that. This whole concept that you can only forgive someone if they apologize…is a farce. Forgiveness is about you. This is a perfect example of how that is the case. Tami has sat back being mad for ten years and Kenny has remarried, changed his life and moved on. He’s still a little bitter/salty about the kids but for the most part his life hasn’t stopped as a result of his failed relationship.

Then Evelyn…not only is she doing too much but she needs to get her issue. She’s going really hard at Suzie because she’s an easy target. Evelyn is a bully and won’t be satisfied until someone knocks her off the rented high-horse she’s prancing around on. She becomes more and more intolerable by the episode. I don’t know how Chad (Ochocinco) keeps up this publicity stunt of a relationship with her without losing his mind.

Royce was being messy this episode which I did NOT appreciate. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes, but if you’re really friends with Suzie then you shouldn’t have set her up. Again, another farce of a relationship.

Overall, this episode was a little disheartening. Granted, money doesn’t make you better, but you should have the means to get your issues together. I’m a little disgusted with everyone. As a viewer and humanitarian—in the most basic sense of the word—I want these ladies to get it together. Do something with ya’selves. They are showing that they literally were trophies: they sat still on someone’s arm instead of pursuing a life for themselves. I guess that’s what happens when you choose to be an inanimate object instead of the person God created you to be. Food for thought.

Til next time. Y’all be easy.

Tierra Allen

For Better or Worse…available NOW!

http://www.tierraallen.com/purchase.html

The Return of “Basketball ‘Wives’”

 

So, season 2 of “Basketball Wife, Girlfriends and Exes” premiered this past Sunday on VH1. It was very entertaining. I’ve always said that though. The season started high with drama. You have Evelyn and Suzie getting into it. Evelyn’s just NOW realizing that Suzie is messy. SMH. It’s funny though, Suzie told Royce that Evelyn leaked her own pictures. My thoughts are; she probably did. She’s an attention whore. She’s in the right profession for it though, so…get it how you live.

Jen is still at a stand-still in her relationship. One thing that stood out to me was that she was trying to reach her husband (Eric Williams, retired NBA player) and couldn’t. She called a few times and got no answer, couldn’t leave a message because his inbox was full and had to send him a text. Like, WTF? That was strange. Why do you have to approach him like a groupie? Shouldn’t he be checking on you? That’s too much.

Shaunie is still pimping these chics. That’s fine-living right there. She comes on the show, gets all the ladies in the same room, nods her head—never sharing her own personal experiences—and orchestrates chaos. The entrepreneur in me is impressed. The feminist in me is appalled.

Royce still has the same down-to-earth feel about her. She’s still humble. Her facial expressions are hilarious: she clearly still enjoys seeing these women go through what they go through. I love that she’s not tainted. She’s dating and appears to be really happy. Good for her.

They’ve introduced a [few] new characters to the show, one of them being Tami. She’s down-to-earth in a rough kind of way. It’s crazy because I really don’t think these women realize how fake they are. I think what most people call fake, trifling, etc. they call living. I don’t what would possess Shaunie to tell the other women that this ex-basketball wife (Fa real, she was actually married) had been on food stamps before. This was clearly something told to her in confidence. Then, as soon as the lady gets up from the table, they start talking shit. Now, I’m not gonna lie, she did look cheap as hell when she met up with them: seriously, I think she had a tan fanny pack covering her waist, some jeans from the 80s and a recycled knit jacket on. BUT, how quickly they forget that looking like a million bucks, they’re still broken in spirit, character and emotionally-wrecked. They’re really not that different from each other.

It appears that later on in the show Tami will put hands on Evelyn. I’m sure the crowd—myself included— will go wild.

Most of them still seem to be twiddling their thumbs instead of finding something to do with their time, Jen especially. Evelyn’s store (Dulce) continues to be empty. SMH.

If you haven’t watched it, turn to VH1, I’m sure they’re showing it every hour on the hour or go to www.vh1.com 

‘Til next time! Y’all be easy.

Live. Love. Laugh.

Author Tierra Allen

Chile Please- The Ultimate Catch

A joke. Publicity stunt. It’s definitely not real. The show was rather lack-luster. The top 17 was pretty wack. The only standouts to me were Rubi and Tiphani. I think they have a lot in common and there’s genuine interest.

Additionally, I think a lot of Chad’s character was shown just by his picks. For example, there were 2 girls that he picked that looked to be 50 years old, easy. I’m still unable to decipher why he picked one and the other is big-breasted, so I figured that must have been it. She literally looks like a man.

Also a show of his character, is that he sent a girl home who talks too much but was willing to keep a female that was willing to talk to a fellow peer of his/his homeboy. Really? You’re okay with that?

It’s strange. This show is definitely nothing to get worked up about.

No one ever finds love on VH1: Flava Flav, Ray J, Real, Chance. It just doesn’t happen.

Chad is a pretty good looking dude, nice body, pretty decent personality (on Twitter), money, stature, the things women want. If he can’t find a chic on his own, without the assistance of Viacom, he’s not going to be able to find it with them. Reason being, you take 85 women that were probably picked at random. Then, he deleted half of the bunch based on looks alone. So his top 17 is really just a set of women who he was physically attracted to, who opted to be a part of his show for various reasons.

The reality is, half those chics are gold-diggers. The other half are there for whatever reason; real or fake. The probability of finding “The One” in this made-for-TV program… highly unlikely.

It’s sure to be another series of women chasing after one man, doing way too much, fighting with one another, and making a fool of themselves, only for him to not settle down with any of them when it’s all said and done.

You heard it here first. What are your thoughts?

Til next time, LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!

♥Author Tierra♥ 

http://www.tierrallen.com

Baseless Accusations-Reunion Special

Rather underwhelming. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve seen all there is to see or if it was just a boring episode, but that was forty-five minutes of my time I could’ve spent doing something else.

Between Suzie and Sandra “The Groupie,” both of whom are irrelevant, it’s like take a seat. I look at Suzie as an “honorary member of the show,” the groupie continues to try to throw shots at Jen about her husband, but at the end of the day she’s a nobody, she’s a single mother; meaning she ain’t gotta man to call her own EITHER, and she’ll never be Jen. Period. So in essence, what she thinks or has to say doesn’t matter.

As I watched this show, I saw a circle of women with fake smiles plastered to their faces and I couldn’t help but wonder…when are they going to stop trying to live an “image” and start living their lives?

I’m glad Jen, Shaunie, Evelyn and Royce have been able to find a support system in one another, I hope that Gloria is not on the show next season, and I hope when Jen looks at this she sees that Suzie is not her friend.

Shaunie made a point I’ve been reiterating since the start of this show, at the end of the day, they look up and have no title to really be proud of, no title that really identifies THEM. “Wife,” “fiancée,” and “mother” are all important roles, but none of them speak to who these women really are. Find yourselves ladies, before you end up with that same title but “bitter,” “resentful,” “angry” or worse is attached to the front of it.

Til next season, this has been “Baseless Accusations.”

Author Tierra Allen

Safe in His Arms available now @ http://www.tierraallen.com

 

 

 

Baseless Accusations: Season Finale

Long awaited season finale review:

Recap:

Jen decides to stay with Eric. She claims to love him. And you know what, I’ll actually give her a pass on this. When I saw it, I involuntarily rolled my eyes, you know… “*itch please” type of thing. But let’s pretend that she does love him, he doesn’t love her in return. One person can not make a relationship work. Jen doesn’t trust him, he doesn’t appear fully committed, hell, he won’t even play the game. All this to stay married? Is it that serious? Eric pretty much acts as if he could care LESS. It’s not to say that Jen is perfect. There is clearly some resentment and attitude present when she interacts with him. It really seems like a lost cause. Staying together without changing anything is a recipe for

All this talk about happiness, find your dignity and self worth and move around. I just see there being more hell later. Not to mention, there is no spiritual basis here. So if he can’t be faithful to Jen based on the vows he took, though according to her, he was cheating then, and he doesn’t answer to a higher spiritual being that would require him to honor his wife and love her like the Lord loves the church, then what is going to stop him from continuously treating her like shit? I’m just saying… I definitely think Eric is dealing with some other issues. I mean he’s not exactly attractive and he’s an asshole, so without good looks and personality he has to validate himself by sleeping with women who want to be around him because of his “celebrity” (connections). It’s a sad situation really. All around. Let’s hope they don’t bring children into this madness.

 

Suzie continues to be in the midst of the madness/drama. It’s safe to say she’s been the culprit behind all of these surprise meet-ups: Evelyn and Vanessa Davis, the “Groupie” and Jen. She met up with Gloria and the two of them engaged in fake conversation, shared fake apologies, and gave fake hugs. Y’all are not friends. It defeats the point if you smile in Gloria’s face and then talk about her later…she’s going to see the video. DUH! Then Suzie invites Gloria out and hoodwinks Royce. I’m glad Royce set her straight letting her know she’d better not pull that ish again. Unfortunately, she will. So, I think I speak for the masses when I say to Suzie

HOE SIT DOWN!! 

:random rant: Suzie is not the voice of reason, she is NOT checking for any of the females there and she likes to be in mess. Suzie’s not going to keep it real, she’s the “friend” that’s going to steer them in the wrong direction if they actually take her advice. Actually she’s about as much a “friend” as she is a “wife.”

Shaunie confronts Gloria, and you know what? She actually has a valid point. If she felt she and Gloria were close friends and Gloria felt the same, all of this talk about being “ride or die” for her family is a joke. Not to say throw your sister under the bus, but don’t be smiling in Shaunie’s face if your sister is knocking down her husband. I also would like to point out that no one is denying these allegations, so…we can assume that something happened. How hard is it to squash this mess, especially if it’s not true? Come on. She did it. I think they need to move beyond the madness. Gloria is not exactly the person that you want on your team, she’s very fickle.

 

 

 

 

 

Royce & Gloria reconfirm that they don’t like each other through this pre-arranged meeting Messy Suzie sets up. Royce is right in being done with Gloria because her position was one where she was speaking well of Gloria and Gloria was going behind her back talking shit. And not because Royce had done anything to her, but because of what her profession was. It’s amazing to me that Gloria will apologize to Suzie, hug her, and call herself cool with her and when Suzie does NOT like her. Fool. The one chic who was actually checking for Gloria she gets into it with. Then Gloria tries to go hard at Royce like “You’ll never be a wifey.”

Let’s be clear. Gloria is not even married. Her and her baby daddy are just still together. If your kids are at least 15 months, and you were pregnant all 40 weeks, that means y’all have had at LEAST 2 years to get married and you’re still a fiancée' and probably only that because you have his kids. So, you’re throwing jabs at Royce saying she won’t be a wife… well, let’s break down what that really means. That means she won’t be sitting in any of their chairs, weeping because she’s in a loveless marriage or because she’s been cheated on and because females are “coming at her husband.” Seriously? That’s some ignorant shit to say. ONE, she’s Dwight Howard’s baby mama, the reality is…she’s never gon’ be doing THAT bad. Two, Royce knows what it' means to work, to have a dream and follow it, while Gloria is doing the same thing her other counterparts did when they thought their marriage/relationships were good: NOTHING. She’s sitting home, with what I presume to be no education, and if/when it ends, she’ll have nothing to show for herself but wasted years and as many children as she decides to pump out for this dude. She’s an idiot. There. I said it.

Trust in your man… that’s cool, but to assume everyone wants to be in your position, is naive and juvenile. 10 years. Let’s see where Gloria is in ten years. That’s all I’m saying. She’s quick to pop off at the mouth and she needs to learn to shut up and let the situation speak for itself.

  Evelyn weeps again about the love SHE supposedly walked away from by choice. I really want her to check herself into some counseling and handle her issue. I’m not being facetious either. I understand it was 10 years. But it doesn’t take that long for a man to decide he wants to be with you. She gave up her youth (in a sense) to be with him and for what? Just to be back at square one and damaged goods later? It’s not worth it. She definitely needs to take some time out to get over it, get to a place where she can hear his name or have a conversation about him and not burst into tears. Also, let me address some nonsense she said. She went off on Gloria because she knows what it’s like to “have to deal with bitches everyday.” These are her words. Well, you weren’t in a relationship with these females, you were in a relationship with Antoine. These females don’t owe you anything, these females didn’t say they would be good and faithful to you, ANTOINE did. So under no circumstance should she have been taking her issue up with them anyway. Ass backwards.

Ladies…if you’ve been in a relationship with someone over five years and you WANT to be married and it’s still being put off because he’s “not ready,” “money’s not right,” “wants to finish school,” or any variation. Move around. Grow together. If you’re good enough to be with for 5 or 10 years (and you want to be married) you’re good enough to marry. Don’t play the game. You’ll lose every time.

Final point, if your man is cheating…move around. There has to be some consequence for his actions or it will become routine in y’all’s relationship. It’s not worth it.

BTW…a new season of Basketball Wives will return in the fall.

This has been Baseless Accusations, as always, I look forward to your feedback. If you’ve missed an episode check out VH1 online.

♥ Author Tierra ♥

Family Business: Ray J & Brandy – Mom & Dad

I’ll be the first to say that I talked really bad about Ray J on my 1st Family Business Blog. After tonight’s episode I’ll be the first to give him credit.

Ray J singlehandedly looked out for Brandy and treated her like the queen that he sees her as. I think it was a positive look from several different viewpoints.

One: He recognized a problem: her last birthday being a total failure. From her not enjoying herself to him not being present…it was a disaster. So not only was he present this time, he personally spear-headed the effort to make 31 a success.

Two: Royal treatment. Not only did he show Brandy how special she is, he also showed that he can be kind and sweet. His treatment is an example to future men that try to date Brandy of how to treat her. And that’s a good look.

Three: He was completely self-less. We haven’t seen a lot of that from Ray J and I’ll definitely admit it was a great break from what the other episodes have presented.

Ray J + Episode 7 = A Good Look.

And now…what’s not a good look …is Sonja AKA “Mama Norwood.”

From her carelessness when it comes to her marriage with Willie Sr. to her total disregard for Brandy, this lady is showing that relationship management is not one of her strong suits. Yeah, she can get things done, BUT if she can’t even maintain an interest and amicable relationship with two of the three closest people to her… how can she possibly maintain relations with the public? Her disposition towards Brandy and her husband explains why some business professionals opt not to work with her.

Got to do better. So not only does Willie Sr. have to drag her out of the house, all-but kicking and screaming, she INTENTIONALLY doesn’t answer Brandy’s phone call, on her birthday, after NOT going to Miami to celebrate with them.

Yeah, she was in the middle of something else, but it seems like a strange time to start putting into effect some of the advice your husband is giving you.

It really is sad to see such a terrible Mother-Daughter relationship. There’s such a disconnect when it comes to these two. While it can’t always be flowers and sunshine, I’d like Sonja to show Brandy as well as the rest of the world that her daughter is important to her.

We’ll get more into detail about Brandy’s need to find love and her highly emotional tangents at a later date. Drop a line and I hope you’ve enjoyed Family Business.

’Til next time; LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!

♥ Author Tierra ♥

Baseless Accusations: BB Wives IV Real?

I think I speak for everyone when I say…Evelyn…sit down. She’s a fool. Times ten.

So… You attack this random lady (Vanessa Davis) who just so “happens” to be a friend of your girl Suzie’s? That’s not suspect to you? As a matter of fact Suzie tends to be in the middle of a lot of these cat fights these “wives” have. 

What’s funny is that Evelyn is trying to come at Vanessa like she has substantiated information on the chic and her involvement with this alleged harassment…and she doesn’t. In one take you’re saying that getting information from the P.I. is a work in progress, then you get to the table with Vanessa and say she’s going to be “exposed” and that you know.

SMH. Not only did Evelyn play herself by attacking this chic with no evidence that she is the culprit, BUT homegirl was shutting her down with what I like to call TRUTHFUL  ONE-LINERS.

Evelyn makes the comment that she can’t believe all this is coming from a fellow wife…Vanessa replies and reminds her “You’re not even a wife.” OUCH. I’ve only been saying this since the show came on.

Then Evelyn made some comment about the league and Vanessa again reminds her that she’s not even in the league.

In the words of Chad Ochocinco

I don’t understand why these chics insist on riding the coattails of these failed relationships and these athletes. It’s over. You’re a has-been and your relationship, even though it was merely a publicity stunt or a sham, is over. Why are you out ready to fight chics over some he-say-she-say shit on the internet? Worry about selling shoes. Do that. SMH. Ridiculous.

Then, Evelyn is a hypocrite because she tells Royce to get rid of her twitter and blogs but then you’re out tossing drinks in females’ faces over some emails? What’s the difference? Speaking of which…

All this throwing drinks and water and hitting *itches with cups…Out of Line. Like seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if “it” gets real. I’m just saying, you messing up females hair and makeup on camera…you pretty much deserve whatever comes to you. Lol

Back to our regularly scheduled program. You could tell that Vanessa isn’t the culprit. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was Suzie. She’s just suspect. Her and the rest of this pseudo wives club.

In terms of the other ladies: Shaunie is still pimping…the rest is history.

‘Til next time, this has been Baseless Accusations. Be sure to drop your 2 cents and if you’ve missed an episode catch up online at www.vh1.com

♥ Author Tierra ♥

 

Baseless Accusations: Basketball Wives Pt. III

Disturbing. That’s the word that best describes the latest episode of Basketball “Wife, Exes & Girlfriends.”

Seriously, as I sat back watching this episode I couldn’t understand for the life of me what was going on with Evelyn.

1. Why was she so flippant and angry with Royce when the previous episode she was “looking out” for her?

2. Why did she feel the need to get super-duper drunk?

3. Why  was her boob hanging out her dress AND why didn’t her young ass date  put it back in for her or tell her it was out? He clearly ain’t checking for you Evelyn. Hell, maybe he was embarrassed. Rightfully so.

4. AND FINALLY… why was she so touchy or open to being touchy with Jen’s husband?

I say again. DISTURBING.

Royce is a standout this week. She’s continuously herself. She did a good thing out of the kindness of her heart in feeding the homeless and inviting the girls out to do the same. Not to mention, her only goal was to show these chics that there are worse situations than not being able to buy Louis Vuitton bags and Fendi glasses.

Royce catches a lot of hell, she’s a regular chic. She doesn’t need to be caught up on who’s watching her or trying to hide her law-given voice. Do YOU Royce. Either way it goes, good or bad, they’re still going to think of you as a piece of ****. Clearly.

Suzie, one, never had a state or government recognizable title so she should stop talking. Yeah talking (I won’t even classify that as giving advice) Just period. Forever. Everything she says is dumb or condescending. Stop talking!

She’s seriously, continuously suggesting that Jen cheat…that’s not going to change anything and she can’t say it worked for her, ‘cause she’s still a washed up EX.

Jen has a nice heart, I think for the most part. I will give her credit: she resists talking bad about Royce even though the other two ladies try to go “in” on her. She wants to give back and do better. Her biggest issue is trying to keep up appearances.

I understand not wanting to fail. No one glorifies or heightens their failures, but damn, girl, let it go. Ya dude is rubbing all up Evelyn’s thighs…Disturbing. He shows up late, doesn’t pay attention to what you’ve got going on…give it up.

They have bigger issues than him cheating. He’s an asshole. He can’t or won’t do better. That’s just who he is.

She’s quick to make allowances, like “hey, he showed up, maybe we have a chance.” Uhm…he showed up LATE. Clearly the things that are important to her aren’t important to him. She’s failing herself every day she continues to stay in this awful situation.

Disturbing.

‘Til next week, this has been Baseless Accusations. Let me know your thoughts. If you’ve missed and episode catch up online at http://www.vh1.com

♥ Author Tierra ♥

Family Business: Ray J & Brandy

Picture perfect, but that’s where the perfection ends. This VH1 “reality” show exposes the harsh reality of mixing business and personal life.

 

 

Sonja Norwood has had to play overprotective “Mother Hen” in order to ensure that her children could pursue stardom and not be exploited. From her estranged relationship with her daughter Brandy, we see a common family dynamic: mothers loving their sons and raising their daughters. Sonja is tough-as-nails on “Bran.” While Ray J on the other hand can behave like a complete coon and doesn’t receive the same harsh speech, hell, he may even elicit laughter from her. His antics have included; coming to work drunk/hung-over, allowing his friends to get the family van impounded, playing a guitar during the middle of a business meeting and entertaining a stripper that his friends sent to his place of employment.

Sonja is very level-headed when it comes to business. She has the right idea, “no corruption, be on-time, and be fair.” What’s sad is that the fairness Mrs. Norwood so often speaks of isn’t practiced with her children. Ray J can run out amuck and shame the family name with no repercussion but Brandy can’t venture into a different genre of music and receive her mom’s support.

The good thing is, Sonja recognizes the problem and wants to be better. The bad thing is, her definition of better seems to be to separate herself as a mother instead of stepping back from the business aspect. This is detrimental in that all Brandy wants is a chance to have the mother-daughter relationship that was severed at 15 years old.

Willie Norwood, Sr. is a very quiet man. Not the domineering man of the house you would expect to find in an African American household. He says a little but is always there when his children need him.

 

Brandy Norwood or “Bran-Nu” :smh: she’s pretty histrionic and disturbingly child-like. At 31 you’d expect to see a little more maturity. That isn’t exactly present. She tends to be all over the place. She wants to relive her childhood and the reality is, it’s time to grow up. It’s also pretty clear that her efforts seem to be striving for perfection; doing all the things her brother DOESN’T do to earn the affection of her mother, to no avail. Her inauthenticity with herself explains why she tends to become so angry when interacting with Sonja. She’s a very emotional person who’s easily influenced. But on the other hand, if someone has to take over the family business, she understands the magnitude and would be willing to do so.

Ray J can be summed up in one short word: COON. It sounds harsh, but really, it’s accurate. Dude is 29 and in the club harder than 18-year-olds. His friends are coons too. It’s clear that his posse is content with riding on his coattail more than getting into the studio and dropping an album. From sex tapes to drunken-stupors, he doesn’t get it. He’s always oblivious to what’s going on and it’s because he’s so self-absorbed. He expects to act a fool and not suffer any consequences, and the sad fact is that his family’s reactions or lack thereof are conducive to his behavior.

He too is disturbingly child-like. Whether he was sheltered or working too hard as a kid, it’s pretty disgusting to see him live his life. He lacks focus, which explains why he’s been in the game so long and hasn’t really made a name for himself musically. It’s going to be very difficult to promote a cd that speaks of him as a gentleman and lover of love when after 2 failed episodic attempts he still isn’t “ready.” Girls, partying and getting wasted is all he knows. Sadly, he’s been able to get by. Can he run the family business? Hell no, I wouldn’t trust him to run to the store for ice.

The “Family Business” is looking real shoddy right now…I’m just saying.

Missed an episode or not familiar with the show? Catch up on www.VH1.com.

♥ Author Tierra ♥

 

What Chili Wants (pt I)

For starters, let’s give credit where credit is due. This show is the first reality “match-making” show where the person is actually genuine. And we must say Kudos to VH1 for this.

Chilli has the right idea and the wrong idea at the same time. Having made bad decisions in regard to love in the past, she has chosen to make adjustments. Chilli understands that love, like life, is one big experiment. If something doesn’t work, you go back, examine it, and make the necessary adjustments.

The issue is that she OVER-adjusted. As she transparently shared in Episode 105 tonight, she’d lost herself and given far more than she cared to in her previous relationship with Dallas Austin and so future relationships have been affected.

It’s as if Chilli said to herself,“Never Again!” She built a superficial list that no one could measure up to because that list was safe. If no one can measure up, then it’s not YOUR fault; men just don’t make the cut. You’re okay, hell, even right to be alone.


I love Chilli. She’s beautiful and open and she’s honestly vulnerable about what we all want. LOVE.

Now, she has the right idea, because it’s right to readjust. It’s a good look to take an honest glance/inventory of your previous relationship and see what you need to change, what was good and what you refuse to let happen the next go round. Sadly, too often, men nor women will take time out to complete this task before jumping into bed or a relationship with another.

People abandon the “rejuvenation/re-evaluation” phase; they fail to take an honest look at their last relationship and continue to repeat ugly, unrewarding and unhealthy patterns and interactions with new people.

Now, Chilli’s wrong because she overcompensated to keep from being hurt , to keep from losing herself, and all she’s actually done is lost out on love. If there’s anything to be learned from Chilli, it’s that we need to find a healthy balance between mind and heart. Love without emotional involvement, is merely an intention, a nice thought. But loving doesn’t mean losing yourself or being dumb. A good heart and a right mind are a terrible thing to waste.

Add something to someone’s life and make sure they do the same to yours.

‘Til next time…

~Live, love, laugh~

♥ Author Tierra ♥

Baseless Accusations: Basketball Wives Part II

There is something to be learned in episode 5 from each of these girls:

Suzie

Is not the person to take advice from. Her priceless suggestions include: “Cheat on him, too.” Well, when has adding more of the same “problem” EVER caused good things to happen?

No one adds additional fuel to a grease fire, nor do you add water to an overflowing tub, so WHY would this be helpful? It won’t. Suzie needs to take a seat.

Another piece of ill-timed and maleficent advice was for Evelyn to start dating and find a man to “take care of her.” Uhm… isn’t this what has her assed-out right now? I’m just saying. Don’t listen to Suzie, ladies, in fact do the opposite of whatever she suggests.

Evelyn

Needs to figure out what it is she wants and start moving in that direction. Lesson to be learned here, it doesn’t take 10 years for someone to decide they want to marry you. Meanwhile, the 10 years you invest will yield you practically no return. In other words…

BAD BUSINESS!

Jen

Poor Jen needs to find new friends or listen to that very still voice in her head. She has common sense, I can see it in her face. She needs to charge it to the game; stop trying to be young and be seen and instead live the rest of her life. Ladies, let this be a lesson to you. A million dollar price tag sounds like a lot when it seems out of your reach, but when you sell yourself short, you end up damaged goods that’s not some “shit he’ll buy.” Set your price tag at “Priceless.”


Royce and Gloria

Let’s face it, the ladies played Royce. He say, she say at it’s finest. On the one hand you have the “I’m looking out for you” speech, but on the other, Jen, Suzie and Evelyn are sitting back making fun of you in their downtime, too. When it’s all said and done, they’re cowering in a corner while Royce gets the shit literally kicked and beat out of her.

Gloria, ye olde fall from ye high horse will not be graceful. She’s funny, she talks down on Suzie for having a nanny, but Suzie has a job (i.e. her own money, so in the untimely event that Gloria ends up assed out like the rest of these ladies, what is she going to fall back on? Won’t be the degree she doesn’t have or isn’t utilizing…Oh that’s right, child support :wink:).

At 23, sitting home and taking care of the kids sounds good, but when you’re their age and look up and realize, a) not only have you had kids at the ONSET of your prime, but b) you’re literally stuck at home, playing housewife while “boo” is out cheating, you’ll be just as bitter and angry as the rest of them are. Because let’s face it, we know he is.

She’s fake, I don’t think she ever told Royce that she “couldn’t” hang with her in general, and why are you trying to keep up appearances anyway? If you think she’s cool, what is this, I would seem like “I’m sleeping with the enemy?” nonsense. Do you boo!

SMH: Lesson here, be authentic. But don’t let your well-to-do intentions be the downfall of your relationships.


‘Til next time… leave your comments on tonight’s Baseless Accusations.


♥Author Tierra ♥

Baseless Accusations: “Basketball Wives”

Let me start out by saying Vh1 has the best reality programming. Hands-down. Some might feel like they make “coons” and “buffoons” out of the people on the show. And to those people I say… that is neither here-nor-there! :) Vh1 does its job…it ENTERTAINS us.

Now if you’re not familiar with the characters I’ll take a moment to apprise you. FYI this is called baseless accusations because…well, just keep reading :)


This is Evelyn (Lorada) she was the fiancee' to some guy for 10 years. (We’re not as much concerned about the men as we are the actual characters) She eventually tired of their relationship and they are “separated.” 

:record scratches: How are you “separated” when you were never married? I guess I can’t hate cause my girl Monica said the same thing about her and Rocko. (Different post)

Notice I didn’t say SHE left him. Because to date, I haven’t heard anything on the show indicating SHE was the one who initiated the separation. She did say it’d gotten to a point where she just couldn’t take it anymore, but she didn’t say she chunked deuces to him.

I like Evelyn, she’s uppity but still down to earth. Meaning, she worries about her reputation but in the grand scheme of things, when it comes down to being authentic, I think she is.

Royce Reed. She’s funny in some respects and in others it’s like, “Come on chick, get it together.” She hasn’t been tainted by the fame of being Dwight Howard’s baby mama. But at 29, I want her to do a little bit better. For example, stay out of the bubble jackets and minimize the p-popping in a handstand. She’s very relatable in the sense that she has a carefree, say-what-you-want attitude. But on the flipside she is too old for some of the crap she does. Just because you look 16 doesn’t mean you should act it.

:sigh: Jennifer Williams. Not only is she the fakest, she’s the one I feel the sorriest for. She’s a walking prop. She’s so concerned with image but she’s the one who has it the absolute worst. Her husband, Eric Williams, some RETIRED basketball player is an ASSHOLE. Their marriage is in shambles, he’s NOT nice to her and she clearly doesn’t want to be there but doesn’t want to give up the “stuff.” That’s the only reason she’s around. He makes no public apology for cheating on her, talks to her like shit, doesn’t want to have kids with her. It’s like…

 RED FLAG!

This is only the beginning. We’ll get back to this.

Gloria Govan. She’s funny. Sometimes to her own detriment. She’s a fiancee'/baby mama. Ok, that’s fine, it “is what it is.” BUTTTT! She’s so cocky about her relationship with Matt Barnes that when it comes out that he’s cheating…and it will, no one is going to feel sorry for her. It’s one thing to have faith in your man. No problem with that. But to assume the rest of the women could “learn something” from you and that they’re “jealous” of y’all’s relationship is a bit out of line. Not to mention, homeboy is SUSPECT. He’s cheating on her. If yal’s relationship was so great and stable, why are you his BM and not his wife? C’mon. Baseless Accusation or future reality? I’m just saying.

Shaunie O’Neal is pimping these chicks. Period. She’s technically not on the show, ever, save random unwanted commentary. She tells them to get together or do certain things and they do it. And I’m sure just to use her name and image is getting her paid. I say again…PIMPING at it’s finest.

Suzie Ketcham is as useless as Shaunie. She’s the ex-girlfriend of Michael Olowokondi. Exactly. She’s about as relevant as he is. But I will give her props for throwing a drink on the “groupie.” That was classic (as was the conversation that followed) Other than that…just another boogie chick who never really had a real position, but whom we’ll call a “wife” anyway.

Stay tuned for more BASELESS ACCUSATIONS. Be sure to leave comments regarding who your favorite “wife” is and anything else of relevance. You can catch previous episodes on http://www.vh1.com/

♥ Author Tierra ♥

Fatal Distractions 3: Mistaken Identity

Jesus is, the perfect answer.

He is the key, to all our lives.

 

YES!

Jesus is

the satisfying,

soothing answer

to a broken heart,

and a troubled mind.

 

Who can wash my sins away?

Who'll protect me on a rainy day?

Who picks me up, when I'm feeling down?

Who can turn my whole life around?

Nobody but Jesus.

 

That's right. He is the source of everything. As a great preacher, motivator, and friend of mine once said, "Don't confuse the instrument with the SOURCE." These words by Sharee Johnson really sum up this whole idea. God is the source of everything. He gives us various instruments to make us happy or to fulfill our needs/wants: jobs, money, homes, cars, relationships, but HE is the source. A wall outlet is not the source of electricity: it's the wiring behind it that is actually providing the power. So, if you've been stressing over the instruments in your possession (or the lack thereof), remember Jesus is the source of everything you want & need. Not only that, he delights in your well-doing. As the song says, "He's the perfect answer."

 

Don't be distracted by what you see, remember who the source is.

 

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all of His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you" Matt: 6:33

 

I ♥ you, and there is nothing you can do about it!

 

Fatal Distractions Pt. 2: BLENDING IN

God has created us to be uniquely different. However, sometimes having characteristics that make us stand out can be uncomfortable. If you don't want to draw attention to yourself, those very characteristics that God gave you so that you could be a beacon of light, will be the same ones you try to hide to blend in.

A moment of transparency

I don't think like most people. For the longest time I've tried not to draw attention to it. However, lately it's been blatantly obvious in conversation. I can no longer hide the gift of wisdom and discernment that God has given me. It's uncomfortable at times, because in a regular conversation, when everyone is in agreement, I'm usually...not. Or I usually look at the "scenario" from a different side. My mentality/gift has often been attached to a label of some sort: judgmental, crass, heartless, etc. When those aren't accurate labels at all.

So, what do you do?

The right thing and the wrong thing. The wrong thing I used to do, was get upset, try to "prove" myself. Another bad adjustment is me not engaging in conversation with "crowds" because I know I'll be slightly on the outside of the concensus. But recently, as in today :) I have decided the right thing is justing being me. You have to be okay with not blending in with the crowd. Blending in eradicates the God-given person you were created to be. We were never supposed to be a "melting pot," we were supposed to be uniquely and divinely created and supposed to respect the uniqueness of others. Something we as a society have failed to do.

Fatal Distraction

Remember, the act of blending takes two things and makes them something else: red & white make pink, blue & red make purple and black & white make gray. Don't be changed by blending in, don't be consumed with blending in, let your God-given light shine, so that other's can be inspired to do the same.

I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!

FAIL (Do’s and Don’ts of Trying to Talk to a Woman in the Club)

Ok, that is it! First off, while I think it's utterly ridiculous to try to "mack", "holla" or any variation of "meet" a person inside the club, men insist on giving this a try. Ladies, you know it's true. He's been peeping you from his side of the club, danced with you for three songs or has even offered to buy you a drink. This is fine, the problem comes with trying to "extend" the evening. Fellas, I'm talking to you if you've EVER gone up to a woman and asked any of the following questions while Young Jeezy, T.I. or Beyonce was playing in the background; "What do you do", "What are you doing after this", "Where are you from" "Where is your man".

I've personally been privy to this for almost a decade; it doesn't seem to be going away. So, let's make this as painless as possible. There are certain things that are an automatic turn off, if we can agree to get rid of the following things, there may be more comfortability involved for all parties and who knows, you may even get her number.

1. Ask her NAME. Sounds simple right? You'd be surprised how many conversations start with "So…are you enjoying yourself" and are followed by "Maybe we can exchange numbers and talk a little later". Seriously? Is this before or after we make up names for each other? I'll call you "Club Guy" and you can call me "Lil Mama"? Asking my name gives me the idea (whether true or not) that you are interested in ME. Also makes me feel like you're not a complete stranger…which you are. Now, there is a catch…she's probably going to want to know your name too. Let's avoid aliases; "Pooky", "G", "Duece" etc. If your name is Benjamin, introducing yourself as "Ben" is fine, if your name is Douglass introducing yourself as "D-Money"…not so much.
   
2. Avoid lengthy conversation. Here's a secret, there is nothing worse than a guy interrupting our "Beyonce Moment". That's when "Upgrade U", "Ego", "Single Ladies" or any other female-anthem-like song plays and we come together in comradeship to relish in this moment. What's worse than the interruption, is you coming over to ask "Whether I'm enjoying myself". This question is stupid as mere observation can answer it and we're more than likely thinking…"I was before you interrupted me". If, for whatever reason, you can not wait until the club ends, make your entrance and exit quick and brief. If we don't hint that we should go to a more quiet place, we're not trying to engage in lengthy discourse with you. Now is not the time to discuss your collegiate dissertation. And please, let's agree to avoid questions such as; "Where do you live/stay", "Where'd you park", "Where's your man""What do you do", it's just creepy. State your name, state your business and move around.
   
3. Keep your hands to YOURSELF! Most women with a healthy self esteem don't want your hands all over their bodies. We can stand to go clearer. If we don't know you, it's not okay for you to touch our behinds, rub our thighs, play in our hair or any other perverse affection that is unwarranted, in whole, because we DON'T KNOW YOU. Full body hugs as your opener…are also your closer. Don't do it. The often unavoidable pull of the arm in your direction, less disturbing but still inappropriate. Seriously, for one moment guys picture this, a woman walks up to you in the club and puts one arm around your waist and pulls your face close to hers so she can talk to you. While, you might enjoy her forwardness, if she turns and does the same thing to three other guys, you're going to feel a little creeped out. All this unwanted PDA stakes claim, and we are NOT together. (Not to mention, if I turn you down, I still want the cute dude I was eying to holla at me later) Play it safe; keep your hands to yourself.
   

I could go on, but I'll spare you. Remember, if you just can't wait until the party ends and music dies down, introduce yourself, keep it brief, and keep your hands to yourself and in return we'll try to take you seriously. Anything else is a fail; I mean, sure you'll be on our mind later but as a firm reminder why we don't give our number to men we meet at the club. Surely that's not what you want.

I Don’t

Tamara stirred the contents of Hamburger Helper around in the skillet as it simmered. She checked her cornbread to see if it had reached the golden texture her family preferred. Peaking over her shoulder at her five year old, who was sitting on the floor combing her baby doll's hair, "Scoot back from the tv," she warned.

Her 12 year old strolled in the house bouncing his basketball on her hardwood floors. One glance from her and he knew to stop. "Is dinner ready yet?" he asked, his voice much deeper than she remembered this morning.

"Almost. Go get out of those sweaty clothes and wash your hands. We'll eat as soon as your daddy gets here," she advised.

As if on cue, Donnie walked in the house, leaving tracks of mud from his work boots. How many times do I have to tell him to come in through the garage door and leave his shoes in there? she thought to herself. Sighing aloud, she knew she'd have to clean the mud off her foyer and carpet or else it would drive her crazy.

"Daddy!" Zhia screamed, abandoning her doll and running out of the room to follow him. Tamara shook her head in amazement at how, daddy coming home always excited her daughter.

After shuffling food onto the four of their plates and sitting them on the table, Tamara called her family in so they could eat, and so she could hopefully, relax.

Donnie and the kids walked in and sat down. He prayed over their food and declared, "I have an announcement to make!" Drawing the attention of the kids and a raised eyebrow from Tamara, he continued, "Kids, this is it! Tamara…let's get married," he invited, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yay!" Zhia shouted. "You're going to be a princess, mommy," she informed.

Her 12 year old, unfazed by this 'news' continued eating: knowing the sooner he finished dinner, the sooner he could play video games.

Tamara rolled her eyes. Stabbing her green beans and putting them into her mouth, she stared intently at Donnie.

Donnie, almost forgetting, reached in his pocket and pulled out a gold, 1-carat ring and reached it across the table to her.

"Take it, mommy!" Zhia urged, smiling widely.

"Finish eating, Zhia," Tamara instructed as nicely as she could, with her son chuckling in the process. She sighed again.

"What's wrong, baby?" Donnie asked, arm still extended across the table. "This is what you've been waiting for, ain't it?"

Tamara chuckled, continuing to eat. Men, she thought, shaking her head back and forth.

Slamming his hand on the table, startling the children, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Donnie demanded.

"Uh oh, daddy's mad," her 5-year-old narrated.

Having had just about enough her damn self, Tamara deliberately rested her fork on her plate. Looking Donnie in his eyes. "Can we talk about this later?" she asked.

"No. We can talk about it right now!" he ordered, banging his hand against the table again, making her fork fall off her plate.

"Look mother--!" she yelled, catching herself because of her children.

"Oooh, mommy almost said a bad-" Zhia began.

"Zhia, Bernard…bye" she ordered.

Not needing to be told twice, Bernard grabbed his plate and his little sister and left the kitchen.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Donnie questioned.

"ME?!" Tamara yelled indignantly. "You're the damn caveman banging tables, "I am man, hear me roar" in this bitch," Tamara reminded.

"Yeah, cause I propose to you and you leave me hangin,'" he pointed out.

"Pro-pose?" she laughed in bewilderment. "That wasn't a proposal."

"Like hell it wasn't," he said offended. "You're ungrateful. That's what you are."

"And you're an idiot," Tamara said, grabbing her plate from the table and walking to the sink with it.

"I don't know what else you want," he said, throwing his fork onto the table.

"First of all, you little ingrate, I want you to stop throwing silverware and pounding tables. And secondly…hmm, I don't know, maybe a decent proposal, not that I want to marry you anyway," she confessed.

"A decent proposal? You trying to play me? It don't get no mo' decent than that. I gotta ring," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"THAT YOU PULLED OUT OF YOUR POCKET!" she yelled as loud as she could, thinking a higher octave might make it register to him. "Where the hell is the box?" she questioned.

Donnie, taken aback and unable to account for the box, sat quietly for a minute. "So…you don't want to marry me?" he asked.

Exasperated, she bluntly told him, "No."

"After all this fucking time together, and you don't want to marry me?" he asked, befuddled.

"No" she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"You're so full of shit," he accused. "So…you're telling me if I did come in here with a box you wouldn't have said yes?" he asked, already not believing her.

"No, I wouldn't have." She said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "You don't get it," she began. "There's so much, I don't even know where to start. One, I got over getting married and getting married to you a loonnnng time ago. Not to mention, you're tactless. What the hell makes you think I wouldn't want you to get on your knees, with a boxed ring? Oh! That's just for starters. Then, "hey kids this is it." Seriously? Proposing to your woman, in front of your kids, is ass-backwards! It's… it's thoughtless, it's ignorant, and quite frankly, it's ghetto." She confirmed.

Donnie sat in his seat feeling like a reprimanded child.

On a roll, Tamara continued, "Two, we've been together ten years and today-" she said, walking over to a calendar- "February…5^th, you decide to 'propose?' Why?" she insisted.

"Why not today?" he asked defensively.

Ignoring him, she continued, "Fuck today. Why ten years later, huh? Tell me that? Ten years, two kids later, and NOW you're ready? Are you kidding me?" she asked.

"Technically, one," he whispered, under what he thought, was his breath.

"You shole' right," she added, hearing his snide remark. "Let me rephrase that, ten years, one biological kid later, why now? When I wanted to get married, you didn't want to. "Had to get your money right, your job together,'" she listed, rolling her eyes. "But today, a day that means absolutely nothing to either one of us," she paused "you decide to suggest that we get married. Cause you damn sure didn't propose." She said picking up the plate out the sink and rinsing it off.

"So, if you feel that way, why are you with me? If you weren't waiting to get married, why are you still here?" he asked, still unable to make sense of it all.

"Two words. Love and comfortability. I love you, I tolerate you, and I'm comfortable with the way things are. But, do I want to marry you? No…I don't," she said dropping the plate in the sink and walking out of the room.

Dangerously in Love

"I don't know what to tell him girl. How do I even start the conversation?" Janay said to her friend as she paced her living room floor, wracking her brain for options.

"Tell his crazy ass you don't want to be with him anymore. Plain and simple" her friend suggested, not understanding her conundrum.

"It's not that simple!" Janay yelled into the phone, throwing herself on the couch. "I've told you how into me he is. Not to mention..." she paused, running to the window just in time to see his black, Cadillac Escalade coming to a stop in her driveway. "He's here, what do I…how...gotta go!" she yelled, tossing her phone onto the couch just as he entered the living room.

Walking over with flowers in hand, Jermaine greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. "How is my beautiful bride to be?" he asked, handing her the flowers.

"Uh…good. I'm good" she lied.

"That's great baby. I had the best day. I drove around town picking out tuxedos and even saw a beautiful wedding gown for you" he beamed.

"Wedding gown?!" she shrieked.

"Yeah…what's wrong babe? You don't look happy. I thought you'd be ecstatic that we're taking things to the next level." He said, pulling out a piece of fabric and measuring her waist.

As he intently gathered her measurements, she yielded a quick glance at the door to make sure it was still unlocked. "Don't you think it's a bit soon?" she asked pushing his hands away from her breasts as he attempted to wrap the tape around.

"Soon? Not hardly. As long as we've been together? Plus, when a man knows, he knows." He assured her, looking in her eyes he grabbed her trembling chin and kissed her on the lips, "And I know."

"I can't do this" she yelled, frantically moving toward the front door.

"Aww baby…its just wedding jitters. I hear everyone gets them" he said, removing her hand from the door knob and attempting to push the door shut.

Easing her back onto the door to keep it open, she shook her head vehemently, "It's not wedding jitters! It's just jitters" she confessed.

Whipping his head in her direction, "What are you trying to say" he asked, stepping further into her personal space.

"I'm…saying…this…isn't working for me" she said flinching; preparing for whatever backlash he might have.

Hearty laughter rang out from the depths of his throat, as he tossed his head back. She froze, squeezing her cervix tight to keep the piss from literally running out of her.

"I want you to leave" she whispered meekly.

"I love you" he answered gently, caressing the side of her face.

"I don't love you and I want you out of my house and out of my life now!" she said more sternly this time.

"I love you, you love me too, this is just emotion. Maybe you're pregnant" he suggested, eyes brightening at the idea.

"Look psycho, you don't love me, I don't love you and I damn sure ain't pregnant" she confirmed pushing him away from her in disgust. "Face it Jermaine. It's over." She said, opening the screen door and walking out first, praying he'd follow after.

He unknowingly obliged. "Jay, baby, we're going to be married. And don't be sad about not being pregnant yet, in due time we'll have a house full of kids. Now, let's go back in the house so we can pick a wedding date and start planning" he said, tugging her arm aggressively.

"LET GO OF ME YOU PSYCHO!!" she yelled, drawing her next door neighbor's attention. "Look freak, it's over. I'm not marrying you and I damn sure ain't having your deranged babies. Now, you have fifteen seconds to get in your car and drive away or I'm calling the police." She threatened.

"You're really serious aren't you" he asked.

"Yes I am." She said, "Fifteen…Fourteen" she began.

"Why would you break my heart like this? After all the time we spent together? I'm truly hurt" he said, as tears fell from his eyes. "At least tell me why" he demanded.

"I'm calling the police!" her neighbor yelled, whipping out her cell phone.

"WHY?! Maybe because you're crazy. I've known you two weeks Jermaine. You don't know my last name, you stole my house key and had a copy made. You're making wedding and future plans and we haven't even been on one date. We had a thirty minute conversation on the phone and now, you think I'm supposed to marry you?!" she exclaimed.

"That's insane" he retorted. "Your last name is Baker, our first date was on the produce aisle of Wal-mart, and those thirty minutes on the phone told me everything I need to know about you. We've got our whole life to date. And I do love you Janay… I do" he said never taking his eyes off her.

Silence was the response she gave.

"I even wrote my own vows…listen to this baby. 'Baby I love you, you are my life, my happiest moments aren't complete if you aren't by my side. You're my relation and connection to the-'"

"Fool that's Beyonce!" she exclaimed throwing her hands up as a police car stopped in front of her yard.

"You're going to regret this Janay. If I leave here, I'm taking all my love with me and I won't be back!" he warned.

"God I hope so" she sighed as he entered his escalade and backed out of her driveway.