For starters, let’s give credit where credit is due. This show is the first reality “match-making” show where the person is actually genuine. And we must say Kudos to VH1 for this.
Chilli has the right idea and the wrong idea at the same time. Having made bad decisions in regard to love in the past, she has chosen to make adjustments. Chilli understands that love, like life, is one big experiment. If something doesn’t work, you go back, examine it, and make the necessary adjustments.
The issue is that she OVER-adjusted. As she transparently shared in Episode 105 tonight, she’d lost herself and given far more than she cared to in her previous relationship with Dallas Austin and so future relationships have been affected.
It’s as if Chilli said to herself,“Never Again!” She built a superficial list that no one could measure up to because that list was safe. If no one can measure up, then it’s not YOUR fault; men just don’t make the cut. You’re okay, hell, even right to be alone.
I love Chilli. She’s beautiful and open and she’s honestly vulnerable about what we all want. LOVE.
Now, she has the right idea, because it’s right to readjust. It’s a good look to take an honest glance/inventory of your previous relationship and see what you need to change, what was good and what you refuse to let happen the next go round. Sadly, too often, men nor women will take time out to complete this task before jumping into bed or a relationship with another.
People abandon the “rejuvenation/re-evaluation” phase; they fail to take an honest look at their last relationship and continue to repeat ugly, unrewarding and unhealthy patterns and interactions with new people.
Now, Chilli’s wrong because she overcompensated to keep from being hurt , to keep from losing herself, and all she’s actually done is lost out on love. If there’s anything to be learned from Chilli, it’s that we need to find a healthy balance between mind and heart. Love without emotional involvement, is merely an intention, a nice thought. But loving doesn’t mean losing yourself or being dumb. A good heart and a right mind are a terrible thing to waste.
Add something to someone’s life and make sure they do the same to yours.
‘Til next time…
~Live, love, laugh~
♥ Author Tierra ♥
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