Blended Lies

"You act like it's my fault that the number is in your phone Stanley!" she yelled.

"You ain't have no business going through my phone" he reprimanded, snatching his phone out her hand. "You trippin about finding numbers you need to stay your nosey ass out my shit."

"WHAT!?" she yelled incredulously. Ok, this was it. She'd given him the opportunity to at least pretend he wasn't romantically involved with the trifling hussy whose nude photo had shown up on the screen when she'd called, but he wasn't even trying. "Why do I always have to show how crazy I am" she questioned before taking it there. Walking over, she towered over him as he looked up at her patronizing her with his eyes.

"He really thinks I won't do anything to him" she realized. Nodding her head at her own revelation, she reached over, covered his entire, smug face with her fingers and pushed his head aside. "Stay out of your shit?" she repeated. Curling her fingers into a fist she landed a hard one against his right eye. "Or what?! What are you gonna do if I don't?" she countered hitting him again, this time causing his face to swell.

"Bitch!" he yelled, hopping up from his seat, "you not finna sit here and hit me like I'm some got-damn child."

Walking over to him she forcefully slapped the Iphone out of his hand and onto the floor. Shaking his head in amazement at the turn for crazy his girlfriend had just made, he reached down to pick up the phone, almost grasping it before she hastily swooped in and yanked it from the ground. Racing down the stairs, slipping over several, she hurried toward the blender and dunked the phone in. With Stanley quick on her heels, she turned to face him with a mischievous grin on her face.

"I'm sorry" he yelled, never taking his eyes off his prized mechanical possession lying cater-corner in the blending device. "I never did nothing with her, I promise" he "confessed". "You right, I was wrong for taking her number, for talking to her, but baby I promise, I didn't ask for that picture of her" he offered, hoping she wouldn't ask how it came to be her Caller ID. "And I was in the process of breaking it off with her cause I love you, you know, and I was telling her that" he rambled, thinking quickly on his toes.

She waited, finger hovering over the 'crushed' option.

"You know I love you, this is all one big misunderstanding. You said you love me too, so why you doing me like this?!" he questioned, feigning hurt feelings, wiping away imaginary tears.

"Why?" she asked looking at him through angry eyes. "Because you're a no-good piece of shit liar!" she yelled livid. " I did say I loved you" she said shaking her head at her own stupidity, "but then I went to the doctor Stanley. And you know what he told me?" she asked awaiting his reply. "He told me that I was pregnant Stanley, notice I said 'was'. But I'd already known it. For four months I'd known I was pregnant, and I waited, and waited for the perfect time to tell you. But you with your bullshit and your lies, it was something every week. The twins from Vegas, the hoe from the hood, and now this bitch, with her exposed nipple piercings mocking me from your cell phone. I lost my baby stressing over you and you never had the decency to even notice I was pregnant" she scoffed. "Didn't have the decency to come up with a good lie, and now, you care more about a $200 phone than you do the 'love of your life'. I'm doing this to you cause you did it to me" she said pressing down on the button as the phone bounced up and down, shards of plastic flying recklessly in circles.

5 Star Chic (2)

Remember, all characters are fictional and resemblances to actual persons are merely coincidental. Meet Erin McCall.



Erin McCall



Hello, I'm Erin. Erin McCall, attorney at law. I don't like to brag...BUT if ever there were such a thing as a 5 Star Chic, I'd definitely be the definition. I'm a very driven person. 28 and I've got an undergraduate degree in English and a Juris Doctorate degree in Sports Law and have already made quite the name for myself as an Entertainment Lawyer. So much so, that I've been able to pay off my student loans, I have ZERO debt, just bought a new Range Rover Sport...cash, (which I finagled down by $10,000) and in 3 years I plan to pay off my half a million dollar house. While I'm tooting my own horn, let me also mention that I have scholarships named after me at both my high school and college alma maters. I take an exotic vacation yearly and I give back in my spare time, not to mention I've done it all on my own. See, growing up, no one expected a skinny little girl from Third Ward, Texas to graduate high school, graduate Suma Cum Laude from The University of Texas (Go Longhorns!) or matriculate through law school in the top 5% of my class. Ahh. Good ole' expectations. I don't live by them. Don't put me in a box, I've been known to break down many. It's only a matter of time before my current law firm, Sterling & Shepherd, becomes Sterling, Shepherd, and McCall. So when you look at me, I'm all woman. I don't have, want or need a man. They're expendable. Anything they can do, I can do better, and I do mean ANYTHING. :) I get them when I desire to, which isn't often. Now that's a 5 Star Chic.

5 Star Chic

All of the characters below are fictional. Any resemblances to actual persons are merely coincidental. Meet Bre'yon, journey with her as she explains why she's a 5 Star Chic.



Bre'yon Renee Jackson



The money, the cars, the clothes...I'm successful. Whether my suits are tailored-made or I decide to get them from Saks or Neimans, I stay fly from head to toe. What did Dorrough say? "Ice cream paint job" Yeah, I definitely got the Pink Satan candy paint on my new, 2010 Audi. Money is no limit. I know you thinking "Dammmmnnn, she doing it" well you ain't heard nothing yet. Those things are MINOR reasons my status is 5 star. I don't pay out of pocket. Fa nothin'. You hear me? Nothing. I'm a 5'8 yellowbone. Perfect 10. They tell me and I know it. I deal with ballers baby, and he ain't gotta play in the NFL or the NBA. I'll take Major League Baseball, the National Hockey League, he can be a doctor (high end of course), an architect, hell if he got a black card, he's balling and he alright with me. I don't even concentrate on body type, skin color, or none of that madness. All I see is green. Money talks everything else is sign language. The point is, if I can make money with NO "gainful employment", drive around in the finest cars and have the means to support myself, I'm a 5 Star Chic. Not bad for a chic that ain't even finished school huh?

Fatal Distractions pt. 1

A good friend and pastoral counselor of mine, spoke of this subject at church. Fatal Distractions. Now, of course when she talked about it, it was more biblically based. I think it was a good topic then and I think it still applies.

First, a fatal distraction is anything that keeps you from reaching your full potential. Today's fatal distraction is the "Comparison Factor". The Comparision Factor is when we look at other's and make comparisions. We may do this career-wise, in our relationships, or just in general.

It's so fatal because we lose focus. We also act based on our beliefs. If we believe that someone has it better or worse than we do, then we act accordingly. If we think someone's relationship is better than ours, we start trying to implement what they're doing into our situations. We have to remember that we are looking from the outside in. We don't know what people did to get what they have and we don't know what they have to do to keep it.

Everything is not for everybody. The "Comparison Factor" will have you all messed up because there is always someone who is doing better or worse than you are. ALWAYS. I heard an entertainer, Duece of The VX, say "there is no such thing as rock bottom", so no matter how bad your situation, it can always be worse or better.

The goal is not to compare. There are no two people that are the same. Humans are NOT carbon copies. We have similarities but are not the same. Because we're not the same, we shouldn't compare. There is no baseline. That's like comparing and apple and an orange just because they are both fruits and come in bags. They'll never be the same.

When you find yourself making comparisons, ask why you want what the other person has. If you genuinely want it for yourself, strive to have it because YOU want it not because you saw someone else with it. But above all, just look straight. Look ahead. Looking at another person does nothing for you. To be you, current and better, you need to stay focused on the most important factor....which is you and what you're trying to do. Looking to the side is a distraction. You don't look sideways when driving, so why would you look to the side when moving forward with your life?

Til Part 2... Be YOU!

New Year's Resolutions

Whether you're on the side that believes it is pointless to make a resolution or you're the one who makes them year in and year out, you're both right. If the idea is that NYR's are dumb because by February you either don't remember what it is, or are no longer committed to it... you're right. On the other hand if you feel it's a good idea to make goals and to attempt to be better than you were the year before...you're right. I've done both. I've made new year's resolutions to stop cursing...HA! "not yet" and I've just gone into a new year without. I think NYR's are fine as long as you're resolving to do better.

While me cutting back on my profanity is a good idea, a better idea, is for me to pray more. While me saving more is a great idea, a better idea is for me to TITHE more. Is it clearer now? My suggestion is to not resolve to be better just for yourself, help someone out in the process. We've gotta move from self to others. If you're a follower of Christ, at some point you've gotta push yourself to do more for and in him. Love God, love yourself and love others. That's the best resolution you can give. Only what we do for God will last.

Should friends date each other's exes?

I know in the black community, the answer is readily NO, Hell no, absolutely not, or any other variation thereof. Usually the reason is because yal are friends. Or maybe it's the idea that it's a little too close for comfort, especially if the break up was messy (ended in anger, heart break, etc). I can see that.

I guess my thoughts are, when you refuse to give up proprietorship how can you REALLY move on? And if you've moved on why should you really care? There are some other elements to this as well. 1. Why would I want to date a friend's ex? 2. What type of relationship do those two have? 3. How will/could this relationship effect my friendship? 4. How long should one wait before dating a friend's ex? 5. Should you converse with that friend (get permission or bring to their attention)? So, journey with me through these five elements.

1. Why would I want to date a friend's ex?

For a number of reasons. You could be or could have always been attracted to that person. You may find that you and that person have things about yourselves that work well together. Familiarity. There are plenty of reasons why one might want to. And it's not necessarily that you're thinking "this is my friend's ex" it may be more like "this person has all the characteristics I'm looking for in a mate ...BUT they're such-n-such's ex".

2.What type of relationship do those two have?

It matters. ESPECIALLY if you're trying to maintain both relationships. Now if you've decided the relationships are interchangeable (meaning you are only doing one: keeping the friendship OR dating the ex) then this may not matter to you. If you're dating the ex, the decision is made. So, their relationship matters because it determines how you dating this ex is going to make your friend feel. I think people would be much more likely to let a friend date an ex, if the relationship ended amicably; nobody's feelings were hurt, there was no bloodshed, broken tail-lights, scratched up vehicles etc or even if all those things happened, if they somehow moved to a place where they'd forgiven one another and are civil. They don't have to be best friends, but your dating the ex won't bring up any bad feelings. If your friend goes from 0-10 when 'ex's' name is brought up...s/he is not in a place to be okay with you dating their ex. It's obvious. Now if there's maturity and healing present s/he may have no issues with the situation. Like I said, if it's your intention to maintain both relationships, it's pertinent that you examine how the two deal with each other (collectively, individually).

3. How will/could this relationship effect my friendship?

Remember, this is only for those trying to maintain both relationships. How will dating your friend's ex effect yal's relationship, really all depends on point 2. I will say that even if they are completely over their ex, there will probably be certain things you all just can't talk about...sex life is probably gonna be one of those things, lol something about that is just in the 'off-limits' category. Now if friend is not over the ex, then your friendship doesn't exist. This is where "s/he's so trifling" "I can't believe s/he did this to me" comes in. Like I said, if they still feel like they have the rights to this person, or they haven't gotten over the fact that 'Ex' cheated or lied or moved on, then they damn sure won't want to see the two of you working out. That effects both of you, because friendship just isn't friendship if you don't want to see the other person happy, no conditions. Also, if they are one of the many people set on "friends don't date each other's exes" then the same applies.

4. How long should one wait before dating a friend's ex?

This is important because you definitely don't want to move too soon. It kinda gives that 'you were just waiting for us to break up' feel and you can pretty much kiss that friendship goodbye. In addition, their ability to move on is important and for the purposes of maintaining friendship you don't want to become part of the recovery. Meaning you don't want you friend to have to get over whatever reason s/he and their ex broke up AND get over the fact that 'friend' jumped right in and started dating 'Ex'. This will essentially be wrapped up in point 5.

5. Should you converse with that friend (get permission or bring to their attention)?

I think you should. Now I don't think you should get "permission" per se, you're grown or your own person so you can do WHATEVER you want. I think you should bring it to their attention, cause trust, someone else is. Not to mention being upfront about it, takes away the 'backhandedness' that is usually associated with this entire idea. Plus, that's how you find out about points 2 and 3. Plus it gives you a clear idea about what your friendship is going to be like. The worse thing you can do is assume that your friend is not going to be okay with it, because if you chose to move into that relationship anyway then you're giving up the friendship when it may not have been necessary. And you don't want to assume they will be fine with it because if they are not, oh buddy... I think there's a certain maturity in talking about it, it shows that there is no malice aforethought. Basically, you think this relationship would be good for you and you're not trying to ruin a friendship in the process. You're saying, to you, there's a difference, your friendship and relationship are two separate entities and both are important to you. Once again, the news will get back to your friend, so it's better if you've already briefed him or her, so that the 'news' is well received.

Things to know:

It's going to be pretty hard for your relationship to establish it's own identity, especially around the people who know all three of you.

It doesn't have to be a big deal, especially if as the friend you're over your ex, and as the other friend you've been honest and upfront.

As for me:

Would I date a friend's ex? Probably not. Especially someone they've dated seriously or someone who's done them wrong. It's a loyalty thing. Note: sometimes loyalty can be taken too far.

However, I feel that God connects us all for a reason: not for me to hold proprietorship on God's creation: (that person does NOT belong to me) but that we can get what we need. I've gotten what I needed from my old relationships so they're up for grabs. I think we're all looking for the same things (happiness, love, companionship, etc) so if you can or have found it in a person that I was unable to find it in...congratulations, that's what it's about.

Your thoughts?

Act Like A Lady

So... I'm reading this Steve Harvey book (late I know) "Act Like A Lady/Think Like A Man... and it is interesting to say the least. I'm on chapter 6. There are 15 chapters. I will say that it is a relatively easy read. I do have some problems with what I've read thus far. Some things, I'm like "Yeah" it makes sense or I can see that. But so far what I'm gathering from this book, being more than a third of the way in, is that men are morons incapable of providing you with decent conversations and so you really shouldn't look to them for that level of conversation you should just talk to your girlfriends. In addition, they will love you, but only in their own way which is only shown through protection, provision, and them saying it. He's indirectly saying men really aren't romantic and they don't like to cuddle and really share none of the same interests as women save sex. What else? Oh, it seems as if his suggestion is to cater to men; whatever is important to them should pretty much be your focus until they become well established at which point he ultimately guarantees that man will give you his undivided attention. He makes mention that a lot of the dealings of men are encoded in their DNA so it's "just the way it is". I thought an example that he used about wanting to "protect" his wife was a bit over the top. Being the "natural born protector" that he is, he didn't feel comfortable with her going scuba diving because if push came to shove there wouldn't be much that he could do to save her, so after explaining this as being okay because he's (men have) been brought up to protect his woman, she no longer does the thrill seeking things she used to do. I found that quite disturbing. A little controlling. Then, he is direct about mentioning that he is a believer in God but there are very specific instances where he is kind of self promoting as if he's done everything by his own will. That lack of faith turned "protection" didn't help either.

Like I said it's an easy read but there are some points where he is clearly talking in circles, in one instance guaranteeing if you follow his simple self help tips you'll be well on your way to understanding men, then others where he is clear to ensure you that following those same tips won't guarantee you anything.

I'll continue to read, and see if there are any real, useful revelations that come up later. I'll leave this lasting point: if it is indeed true that men have been brought up to provide for women, protect them and not care about the things in between, then we need to do better to make our men better adjusted individuals lest they really do become expendable. If I can provide for myself, protect myself, and be free to be me, and those were the basis of being a man, I've just showed that I only need you for one thing...not really as long as Carmen's is 24 hours. I'm just sayin....

Til Chapter 15 ...DUECES!!

Comedic Relief

Hey guys! Just thought I'd drop a couple lines of things that have been hilarious to me in the past. I'll try not to post anything where it was a "had to be there" situation. Oh and for the purposes of maintaining relationships the authors shall remain annonymous. ENJOY:

"We couldn't fly to Houston anyway, because we don't have our passports"

Me: This nurse keeps calling my niece a boy
Friend: "WTF doesn't she see that she doesn't have a penis it's not like they were diapers"
Me: WHAT? ::laughing::
Friend: Babies don't wear diapers do they?
Me: Why wouldn't they wear diapers?
Friend: I didn't think they made em that small.
Me: So....what did you think they did?
Friend: I thought you just laid them on a blanket and washed the blanket whenever they pee'd or boo booed

"I pray for myself out loud so that I can make sure God hears my prayers"

Random Insults I've heard/read:

"You look like a cringe sandwich with extra ratchet sauce"

"You look like blackened disaster glazed with a puree of wtf sauce"

"You look like a routine tanning gone awry"

"You smell like a 12-piece bucket of 'Shitken'"

"You look like an overturned truck full of recalled meat-portions"

"You look like an UN-satisfactory clean up on aisle three"

Inspiration

Just wanted to drop a few lines of things that have been helpful in giving me hope or peace. Some are songs, some are sayings, but they've all encouraged me to think a little deeper about things. Hopefully you'll have the same inclinations.

"We watch and we wait Lord, anticipate, the moment, you choose to appear. We worship we praise, until there's no debate, then we recognize you're already here" ~Already Here, Brian C. Wilson

"All things work together for the GOOD of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose and will" ~Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" ~Jeremiah 29:11

"I could search the, heavens high, I could search the, earth below, but there is no one, no one so holy, no one so worthy, no one so faithful. There is no one, no one, NO ONE" ~You are holy

"Soon as I stop worrying, worrying how the story ends, I let go and I let God, let God have his way. That's when things start happening, when I stop looking at back then, I let go and I let God, Let God have his way" ~ Let Go, Let God by Dewayne Woods

"Sometimes tragedy's hard to get over, but sometimes that tragedy MEANS 'it's over'"- Lil Wayne

"Be still and KNOW that I am God" Psalm 46:10

"Sometimes beauty is in the attempt" -One Tree Hill

"The mystery is God's; the PROMISE is your's" -John R. McDuff

"Just because I'm confused about love doesn't mean I'm not going to show love. There may be someone out there who needs to be shown love, why should they have to wait because I'm confused about what love is" Duece of VX

Seeing the LIght

We all make our own choices; if you stand on train tracks and say I don't see a train coming, but you feel the ground moving rapidly beneath you, and see the lights and hear the horn...OK, stay your ass right there or deal with the reality that is before you. People see warning signs FOREVER what you chose to listen to and take heed to is YOUR business, but remember, it takes a CONSCIOUS decision to move on.

Rethinking LOVE

We've got to abandon our definition of love. Even with hearing 1 Corinthians 13, we still hold on to the love we've always known. Let it go.

FACT: There's love and fear. There's no fear in love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it, it's not love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it.... it IS NOT love.

You may be afraid of the unkown in your relationship, but as long as you are not stifled by your apprehension and don't make decisions based on your apprehension, you're not acting in fear.

Pastor Rudy Rasmus of St. John's Downtown suggests there are two responses we can give to any situation. One of them is love, the other is fear. The bible says there's no fear in love. If you've been operating in fear; afraid to truly give of yourself for fear that you will be taken advantage of, afraid to forgive for fear that you will be hurt again, I invite you to do away with the "old love" and pick up some new love.

Love is an action, it's not a feeling. Start loving. Stop fearing. I love you and there's nothing you can do about it.