Hey guys! Just thought I'd drop a couple lines of things that have been hilarious to me in the past. I'll try not to post anything where it was a "had to be there" situation. Oh and for the purposes of maintaining relationships the authors shall remain annonymous. ENJOY:
"We couldn't fly to Houston anyway, because we don't have our passports"
Me: This nurse keeps calling my niece a boy
Friend: "WTF doesn't she see that she doesn't have a penis it's not like they were diapers"
Me: WHAT? ::laughing::
Friend: Babies don't wear diapers do they?
Me: Why wouldn't they wear diapers?
Friend: I didn't think they made em that small.
Me: So....what did you think they did?
Friend: I thought you just laid them on a blanket and washed the blanket whenever they pee'd or boo booed
"I pray for myself out loud so that I can make sure God hears my prayers"
Random Insults I've heard/read:
"You look like a cringe sandwich with extra ratchet sauce"
"You look like blackened disaster glazed with a puree of wtf sauce"
"You look like a routine tanning gone awry"
"You smell like a 12-piece bucket of 'Shitken'"
"You look like an overturned truck full of recalled meat-portions"
"You look like an UN-satisfactory clean up on aisle three"
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Inspiration
Just wanted to drop a few lines of things that have been helpful in giving me hope or peace. Some are songs, some are sayings, but they've all encouraged me to think a little deeper about things. Hopefully you'll have the same inclinations.
"We watch and we wait Lord, anticipate, the moment, you choose to appear. We worship we praise, until there's no debate, then we recognize you're already here" ~Already Here, Brian C. Wilson
"All things work together for the GOOD of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose and will" ~Romans 8:28
"For I know the plans I have you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" ~Jeremiah 29:11
"I could search the, heavens high, I could search the, earth below, but there is no one, no one so holy, no one so worthy, no one so faithful. There is no one, no one, NO ONE" ~You are holy
"Soon as I stop worrying, worrying how the story ends, I let go and I let God, let God have his way. That's when things start happening, when I stop looking at back then, I let go and I let God, Let God have his way" ~ Let Go, Let God by Dewayne Woods
"Sometimes tragedy's hard to get over, but sometimes that tragedy MEANS 'it's over'"- Lil Wayne
"Be still and KNOW that I am God" Psalm 46:10
"Sometimes beauty is in the attempt" -One Tree Hill
"The mystery is God's; the PROMISE is your's" -John R. McDuff
"Just because I'm confused about love doesn't mean I'm not going to show love. There may be someone out there who needs to be shown love, why should they have to wait because I'm confused about what love is" Duece of VX
"We watch and we wait Lord, anticipate, the moment, you choose to appear. We worship we praise, until there's no debate, then we recognize you're already here" ~Already Here, Brian C. Wilson
"All things work together for the GOOD of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose and will" ~Romans 8:28
"For I know the plans I have you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" ~Jeremiah 29:11
"I could search the, heavens high, I could search the, earth below, but there is no one, no one so holy, no one so worthy, no one so faithful. There is no one, no one, NO ONE" ~You are holy
"Soon as I stop worrying, worrying how the story ends, I let go and I let God, let God have his way. That's when things start happening, when I stop looking at back then, I let go and I let God, Let God have his way" ~ Let Go, Let God by Dewayne Woods
"Sometimes tragedy's hard to get over, but sometimes that tragedy MEANS 'it's over'"- Lil Wayne
"Be still and KNOW that I am God" Psalm 46:10
"Sometimes beauty is in the attempt" -One Tree Hill
"The mystery is God's; the PROMISE is your's" -John R. McDuff
"Just because I'm confused about love doesn't mean I'm not going to show love. There may be someone out there who needs to be shown love, why should they have to wait because I'm confused about what love is" Duece of VX
Friday, July 31, 2009
Seeing the LIght
We all make our own choices; if you stand on train tracks and say I don't see a train coming, but you feel the ground moving rapidly beneath you, and see the lights and hear the horn...OK, stay your ass right there or deal with the reality that is before you. People see warning signs FOREVER what you chose to listen to and take heed to is YOUR business, but remember, it takes a CONSCIOUS decision to move on.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Rethinking LOVE
We've got to abandon our definition of love. Even with hearing 1 Corinthians 13, we still hold on to the love we've always known. Let it go.
FACT: There's love and fear. There's no fear in love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it, it's not love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it.... it IS NOT love.
You may be afraid of the unkown in your relationship, but as long as you are not stifled by your apprehension and don't make decisions based on your apprehension, you're not acting in fear.
Pastor Rudy Rasmus of St. John's Downtown suggests there are two responses we can give to any situation. One of them is love, the other is fear. The bible says there's no fear in love. If you've been operating in fear; afraid to truly give of yourself for fear that you will be taken advantage of, afraid to forgive for fear that you will be hurt again, I invite you to do away with the "old love" and pick up some new love.
Love is an action, it's not a feeling. Start loving. Stop fearing. I love you and there's nothing you can do about it.
FACT: There's love and fear. There's no fear in love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it, it's not love. If your love has any aspect of fear in it.... it IS NOT love.
You may be afraid of the unkown in your relationship, but as long as you are not stifled by your apprehension and don't make decisions based on your apprehension, you're not acting in fear.
Pastor Rudy Rasmus of St. John's Downtown suggests there are two responses we can give to any situation. One of them is love, the other is fear. The bible says there's no fear in love. If you've been operating in fear; afraid to truly give of yourself for fear that you will be taken advantage of, afraid to forgive for fear that you will be hurt again, I invite you to do away with the "old love" and pick up some new love.
Love is an action, it's not a feeling. Start loving. Stop fearing. I love you and there's nothing you can do about it.
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